Parenting
Parenting is a “long term investment”. It has been labeled as “the best and yet the most challenging job you will ever have”. Let’s face it, parenting is not always easy. Here, we hope we can guide you in finding answers together about parenting topics.
Popular Questions
License Exempt providers include the family, friend, and neighbor providers who care for children known to them. These types of child care providers do not need to be licensed.
Nebraska requires that anyone providing services to four or more children at any one time (from families other than that of the provider and for payment) to be licensed. Licensing requires that the caregiver/teacher and the facility both meet minimal health and safety standards. Most importantly, licensing means that the facility has been inspected by a fire marshal and background checks have been ran on all caregivers.
Please remember, licensing regulations are minimal standards and do not provide any guarantees. As a parent, you are strongly encouraged to visit and evaluate any child care facility you are considering for your child. Spend at least 15 minutes interviewing the prospective provider and visit the facility with your child more than once, with one of the visits unannounced.
Visit the License Information System Search to find out if your child care provider is licensed.
Here are tips for reducing and preventing challenging behaviors:
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Make sure the individual or others are not in danger and are safe: If the individual is behaving in a way that may injure them or others, remove them from the situation or take steps to stop them.
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Change the setting or location: If the individual’s behavior occurs only in certain situations, specific places, or only around certain people, you may be able to stop the behavior by changing their environment.
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Create a distraction: An individual can often be distracted into stopping an undesirable behavior.
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Tell the individual in advance what is happening: Prepare them if a change is going to occur, or let them know what is going to take place before it happens. Most people like routines and predictability. Changes in a normal day’s routine could upset an individual and trigger negative behaviors. Prepare them for any changes to their daily routine.
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Respond calmly, speak briefly: It is hard to listen to an individual when they are upset, talking in a loud voice, or is talking so much that you cannot really hear what the individual is trying to say. Don’t try to talk about why something is right or wrong while both of you are still upset. Wait until a things are calm and then ask about how things could have been handled better.
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Teach alternative behaviors: Teach the individual what you want them to DO instead of what not to do.
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Offer choices: Give the individual choices to help build independence while also giving him some control over their environment.
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Notice the positive: Catch the individual doing “good.” If you reinforce positive behaviors, they will continue. Praise the individual when positive behavior occurs.
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Be consistent: Establish regular routines for the individual and stick with them.
De-escalation: When it comes to the de-escalation of a volatile situation, the primary goal is to avert physical aggression and diff use angry outbursts. The situation can then be processed at a later time with the individual.
- Remain calm and use a quiet, even tone of voice.
- When being yelled at, our automatic defense response is to raise our voices right back. However, reacting in this way can further agitate the individual. Use a quiet voice and a calming tone.
- Listen to what the individual is saying.
- Often individuals will calm down once they verbalize what is upsetting them. Interrupting them or shutting them down may have the effect of increasing the individual’s anger or frustration.
- Validate the individual’s feelings.
- Offer choices and clear consequences.
Here are some tips for managing challenging behaviros:
- Building relationships with even the individual and practicing interventions to de-escalate problem situations when they arise. Find out what triggers in the environment might provoke or try to understand the triggers for challenging behavior. It will be useful to figure out what triggers the challenging behavior, and what they think they will gain by behaving in that way. Make sure you are supporting the individual with the right level of support. Make sure you allow the individual to make decisions, and have choices. Be consistent.
- Individuals with complex needs often have trouble communicating pains and other physical problems that they may have, so these may result is extreme emotions or bad behavior.
- See if the behavior is being triggered by something you cannot see. Ask yourself could it be headaches, toothaches, or even side-effects from medicines and is triggering the challenging behavior.
- When an individual is acting up or misbehaving in some way, our first reaction may be to tell them to stop doing what they are doing (e.g. ‘stop kicking’ or ‘stop hitting’). It can be much more helpful to say what positive behavior you would like to see. (e.g. ‘let’s sit down and talk about what you want to do’ or ‘lets’ go for a walk’) Respect the individual. Make sure they feel respected and safe.
- If you can spot early warning signs or triggers that an individual is going to have an emotional outburst or begin another form of challenging behavior, you can intervene in a positive way, and try to change the behavior by distracting the individual with other strategies or interventions.
- Be aware and help when the individual is in distress. Work with the individual’s coping strategies for dealing with problems.
- Challenging behavior can be a result of attention seeking so separating yourself from the individual until they settle down can be very helpful. That way, you are not rewarding challenging behavior with attention, and so encouraging more of it.
There are many possible reasons or a combination of reasons for challenging behavior:
- Some individuals may bite or hit out of frustration, others become stubborn and do not follow instruction because they’re trying to be independent. However, some challenging behaviors could have a physical cause.
- Several medical issues can present with challenging behavior.
- Stereotyped behavior, such as rocking or pacing, may be the way a person maintains the level of stimulation or arousal they want.
- Challenging behavior may be a way to communicate the need for food, drink or comfort.
- Challenging behavior can be a sign of abuse, distress, anger, frustration, discomfort or pain.
- Environment can play a part in challenging behaviors. This could include under/over stimulation, poor physical environment such as extremes in temperature or noise levels or inconsistencies in caregiving, awareness, approach and training.
- Sometimes challenging behavior can be a sign of a wider problem with someone’s mental health.
- Challenging behavior may be more likely if a person is disabled.
- A mix of impairments, environment and interpersonal relationships make it more likely that a disabled person may develop a behavior, possibly challenging, to meet their needs. Remember, each behavior has a function for the person displaying it.
Most challenging behaviors are not premeditated and are not designed to upset others.
When confronted by some form of challenge, it’s always worth stepping back and asking yourself as a caregiver:
- Why does this person need to go to all the effort of showing this behavior?
- What’s going on from their point of view that makes them need to do this?
Challenging behaviors are difficult behaviors that do not go away over time or after using the usual discipline methods. It is the impact of these behaviors that makes them challenging to family members and care providers.
Challenging behavior can also be thought of as a means in which an individual with a learning disability can control his or her's environment.
Challenging behavior can also show that there is some unfulfilled need or a problem with communication. These unmet needs may include the need to belong, the need for feeling of appreciation; the need for attention, or the need for entertainment or pleasure.
Remember, all behavior is functional. There is a reason for the individual's behavior.
You can consult your child's school or your family's doctor for referrals to therapists or counselors that specialize in your family's need.
The Nebraska Resource and Referral System is a online searchable database where you can find therapists and counselors in your area.
According to Nebraska law:
- All children up to age eight must ride correctly secured in a federally-approved child safety seat.
- Children ride rear-facing until up to age two or until they reach the upper weight or height limit allowed by the car seat’s manufacturer.
- Children under age eight must ride in the back seat, as long as there is a back seat equipped with a seatbelt and is not already occupied by other children under eight years of age.
- Children ages eight to eighteen must ride secured in a safety belt or child safety seat (booster seat).
The Boys Town National Hotline’s specially trained counselors are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to offer parenting advice and assistance. These dedicated professionals receive ongoing training on how to deal with situations ranging from suicide to challenges parents encounter every day with their teens. For help with parenting questions call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000, or ask the Parenting Experts at Boys Town a question online.
The Nebraska Alliance of Child Advocacy Centers provides statewide leadership in the fight against child abuse while working with our member Centers, the seven Child Advocacy Centers (CACs) located throughout Nebraska. The Nebraska Alliance is dedicated to the multidisciplinary, child advocacy approach and a coordinated, comprehensive response to child abuse throughout all of our state's 93 counties. For more information on the resources available in your area call 402-933-7422 or visit their website.
The Nebraska Resource and Referral System is a searchable database for community agencies and organizations throughout the state of Nebraska. Visit their website to search for family support, counselors, and other resources.
There are also a number of programs dedicated to prevention of abuse and neglect:
There are many potential indicators of abuse or neglect. You do not have to be certain that abuse or neglect has occurred to make a report.
In Nebraska, everyone is a mandatory reporter. This means physicians, medical institutions, nurses, school employees, social workers or any other person who has reasonable cause to believe that a child has been subjected to abuse or neglect is required by law to make a report to the CPS Hotline and/or Law Enforcement. (Nebraska Revised Statute 28-711)
To report suspected abuse or neglect you should call 1-800-652-1999 (CPS Hotline) or local law enforcement.
Potential indicators for abuse of a child include:
- Unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes
- Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school
- Sudden changes in behavior or school performance
- Untreated physical or medical problems
- Learning problems / difficulty concentrating
- “Watchful," preparing for something bad to happen
- Little or no adult supervision, often left alone
- Overly compliant, passive, withdrawn
- At school or other activities early, stays late, does not want to go home
- Shrinks at the approach of adults, afraid
- Is reluctant to be around a particular person or seems frightened
- Discloses abuse
- Is frequently absent from school
- Begs or steals food or money
- Lacks medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses
- Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
- Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs
- States that there is no one at home
- Shows extreme behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, very passive or aggressive
- Acts very mature for their age (ex: parenting other children) or very young (ex:frequently rocking or head-banging)
- Is delayed in physical or emotional development
- Has attempted suicide
- Reports a lack of attachment to the parent
- Signs of Sexual Abuse
- Has difficulty walking or sitting
- Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
- Reports nightmares or bedwetting
- Experiences a sudden change in appetite
- Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
- Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
- Runs away
- Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver
- Attaches very quickly to strangers or new adults in their environment
Potential indicators that a parent is abusing a child:
- Denies there is a problem, blames the child for problems
- Uses harsh physical discipline with the child and/or tells teachers or others to use harsh physical discipline
- Sees the child as bad or worthless; describes the child in a negative way
- Demands “perfection"
- Looks to the child for their own care, attention, and satisfaction.
- Shows little concern for the child
- Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child's injury, or provides an explanation that is not consistent with the injury
- Has a history of abuse as a child
- Has a history of abusing animals or pets
- Appears to be indifferent to the child
- Seems apathetic or depressed
- Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner
- Is abusing alcohol or other drugs
- Does not protect the child
- Is secretive and isolated
- Is jealous or controlling with family members
- Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child
- Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child's problems
- Overtly rejects the child
If you must leave your child alone, consider their maturity level. Never leave a child six years old or younger alone. If you leave your children with a baby sitter, make sure that person is safe. Older children left in charge of younger children should know who to call in case of an emergency.
Camps for Special Needs Kids
Families with children who have special needs may want to consider sending their child to camp this summer. Children can benefit from the fun and interaction with other kids, increase their confidence and independence, and find positive role models from adults and counselors. Parents can get a much-needed break.
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) requires all camps to make reasonable accommodations so that children with special needs can attend. This means that mainstream camps may also be on your list of possibilities.
Not only has the list of possible camps increased, but the types of camps have also increased. Camps may be non-profit, for-profit, religious camps, day camps, weekend camps, camps run by national organizations, and private camps.
Families will want to find a camp that fits their philosophy, cost, and goals. Many camps offer scholarships or rates on a sliding scale depending on the family's income.
There are a number of camps around Nebraska that offer Specialty Camps and cater to children with special needs. Below are several of those camps.
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Camps in Nebraska
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Easter Seals Nebraska has Camp Easter Seals outside of Nebraska City. From campfire sing-a-longs and late night ghost stories, to nature walks, swimming, and arts and crafts, Easter Seals Nebraska camps provide the same excitement and activity available at other summer camp programs. The difference? Easter Seals Nebraska campers experience the joys and challenges of camp in a fully-accessible setting. Campers gain independent and social interaction skills while participating in a variety of fun, adapted activities. For more information on sessions, see the Easter Seals Nebraska web site.
Camp YouCan is a new summer day camp in Nebraska for children ages 7-16 with epilepsy. Camp YouCan is sponsored by Lifestyle Innovations for Epilepsy, Inc. and will be on September 8, 2012 at YMCA Camp Kitaki located between Lincoln and Omaha. There will be daytime activities such as fishing, boating, arts and crafts, games, a ropes course, and archery. Lunch will be provided and the evening will conclude with a family dinner and campfire. We will have a staff of volunteer counselors and will have volunteer nurses on site to deliver medications and to treat injuries. For more information email info@midwestyoucan.org , call (402) 770-3936 , or visit their website.
Camp Kindle is a cost free (including traveling costs) summer camp for children and youth aged 7 to 17 who are infected with or impacted by HIV/AIDS. A week at Camp Kindle is composed of education, health and life skills workshops. Equally important are their traditional camp activities, such as water and field sports, arts and crafts, and nature appreciation. Each evening at camp, children participate in all-camp evening programs including campfires, a carnival, camp olympics, lip-sync/dance, and other specialty entertainment. For more information, visit their web site at http://www.projectkindle.org/camp-kindle/.
Camp Quality Heartland is a summer camping experience and year-round support program for children with cancer. Four pediatric oncology nurses with a total of 53 years experience are on the camps staff and a local physician is available for emergencies. For more information, go to the Heartland Camp Quality site or call (712) 323-5107.
Camp Jenney is a summer residential camp for Nebraska children who have cystic fibrosis. An infirmary is staffed 24 hours a day with physicians, nurses and respiratory therapists. Camp Jenney is a joint project of the American Lung Association of Nebraska and Concerned Nebraskans for Cystic Fibrosis. Camp Jenney will be at Camp Kitaki near South Bend.
Camp Spirit is for kids ages 8-17 who have arthritis or related diseases. Contact the Arthritis Foundation, Nebraska Chapter at (402) 330-6130 in Omaha or outside Omaha, call 1-800-642-5292.
Camp Brave Heart of Nebraska is for kids ages 9-14 who have cardiology health conditions. Contact Jennifer Strawn at (402) 955-4350. The 2005 camp session will be held at Camp Kataki from June 5-11.
Camp Anderson is for children ages 11-18 who are deaf or hard of hearing. The camp will be held at Camp Kitaki in South Bend, Nebraska. For more information, visit the Southeast Nebraska Regional Program, the Nebraska Commission for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, or contact Jill Bird, (402) 436-1897.
Camp Hot Shots Central is being organized by the American Diabetes Association Great Plains Region, Omaha. This camp will be June 18, 19, 2013 and is for children ages 6 to 12 years who have diabetes. For more information, contact Deann Carpenter at (402) 461-5318.
Camp Floyd Rogers is for children with Diabetes who are between the ages of 8 and 18. This year's camp is June 23-29, 2013, at Camp Luther, a Lutheran camp and conference center nestled in the rolling, prairie farmland between Schuyler and Columbus, Nebraska. For more information, see a description of the camping experience at the Children with Diabetes web site.
Polar Opposites (Ages 6-8) – Explore the animals of the Arctic and Antarctic! Your adventure will begin in the Arctic Circle where we will encounter the elusive polar bear. Then, travel to Antarctica on the opposite side of the world to study penguins! June 14 -16 (Monday thru Wednesday)9 a.m. – Noon, Omaha’s Zoo is offering a 3 day camp for children ages 6-8 who are deaf or hard-of-hearing. This day camp will be taught by certified teachers who specialize in working with deaf or hard-of-hearing students. Class space is limited. Cost $95 per child. To register, please contact the Education Department at Omaha’s Zoo at (402)738-2092 or visit www.omahazoo.com.
His Kids Camp (Ages 13-Adult) is the special needs program at Camp Luther. This Christ centered program gives safe opportunities to explore exciting new activities while increasing self-esteem, boosting self-confidence, and encouraging independence. A unique feature of His Kids Camp is that every camper will have one on one time with a special friend called their “Buddy” (staff and volunteers paired up with the campers the entire time they are at camp - day & night) to help them make the most of their camping experience. Call (402) 981-5732 for more information, or visit Camp Luther's website at www.campluther.org under "Special Needs Program"
H.U.G.S. Camp (Ages 5 –13) is a one day camp, providing activities for youth who have experienced the death of a family member or friend. The camp is for children, ages 5 –13, and their families. It is recommended at least one adult attend per family. Adults will gain ideas and learn skills to help themselves and their children through the grieving process. Groups are led by mental health practitioners and trained grief facilitators skilled in working with individuals who are grieving. Cost is $15 per family and includes Zoo admission, train ride, lunch, and program supplies. Scholarships are available. For more information, visit www.hugscamp.org or call Nancy Gabelman, AseraCare Hospice, 402-488-1363.
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Other Camps in Colorado and the Midwest
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The Lung Association has been leading the fight against asthma for many years, through research, education and advocacy. Learning more about the disease is the first step in helping children and adults with asthma breathe easier. The American Lung Association, Plains-Gulf Region has a variety of programs designed to help you learn more at https://www.lung.org/ .
Camp Odayin in Minnesota provides residential, day and family camp programs for children (ages 6-17) with heart disease. Our camp offers the opportunity to strengthen self-confidence, gain independence and meet other young people with similar health, emotional and social experiences. Our facility is fully staffed with pediatric cardiologists and nurses. Free transportation is provided to our residential program from the Twin Cities. The only charge for any of our programs is a $25 registration fee. Camp Odayin is a 501c3, funded through fundraisers, corporate and private donations. See a description of the camping experience at the Camp Odayin site.
Camp Nuhop is a camp for children for children age 6-18 with Learning Disabilities, Attention Deficit Disorders and Behavior Disorders. located in southern Ashland County, Ohio—is a residential summer camp for all children with learning disabilities, attention deficit disorders and behavior disorders. What started out as a one-week program years ago with eight counselors serving 27 children has blossomed into a camp that serves 560 children during six weeks, with a waiting list of 50. The camp has grown to 45 staff members and five directors. Each session is devoted to an interest-based theme, such as their Sport Skills Camp, Artistic Camp, Mountain Bike Camp and Science Camp. For more information, visit the Camp Nuhop web site or call (419) 289-2227.
Courage Camps offer safe, accessible, natural environments where children and adults with physical disabilities, sensory and language impairments, and other disabilities or illnesses discover abilities they never knew they had or they thought they had lost. Speech/language services are available at Camp Courage for campers on the active caseload of a school Speech/Language Pathologist. The Courage Camps have three locations in Minnesota, each with a number of sessions devoted targeted to children with specific disabilities. For more information, visit the Courage Camps web site or call (763) 520-0504.
One Step At A Time Summer Camp is for children and adolescents, ages 7 through 19 with cancer and leukemia. It is divided into seven different programs, each of which conducts activities for a specific age group. These programs include Standard Camp, Stepping Up, Excursion, Campcraft, Water Sports, ACE, and EXCEL. There is also a winter camp every year that is held for five days after the holidays. It is based at Aurora University's George Williams Educational Center in William's Bay, Wisconsin. For more information, visit the One Step at a Time web site or call (312) 924-4220.
Camp Courageous of Iowa is a year-round respite and recreational facility for individuals with disabilities of all ages. There are a number of activities available to campers, ranging from Caving, Arts and Crafts, Outdoor Living Skills and caring for farm animals. For information about week long summer camps and other programs, visit the Camp Courageous web site or call (319)465-5916.
The Fowler Center in Michigan has been providing year-round outdoor recreational and educational experiences for people with special needs, including: mental and physical challenges, autism, traumatic brain injuries, as well as sensory and communication challenges. Activities offered at the Fowler Center include outdoor education, horseback riding, creative arts, water sports, and barn and garden activities. To learn more about the centers camping and respite programs, visit theFowler Center web site or call (989) 673-2050.
Lions Bear Lake Camp in Michigan offers summer camp programs for children who are visually-impaired, hearing impaired or have juvenile arthritis and related diseases. Activities include horseback ridding, swimming, boating, hiking, crafts, nature, music, archery, games and drama. Older campers will participate in leadership development activities and a high ropes course. For more information, visit the Lions Bear Lake Camp web site or call (810) 245-0726.
Wonderland Camp is dedicated to serving mentally and physically challenged individuals of all ages. Campers can participate in many activities at camp including crafts, music, nature studies, hiking, swimming, boating, dances, campfires, talent shows, archery, fishing, and more. The camp is located at Rocky Mount, Missouri, near the Lake of the Ozarks. To learn more about the camp programs,visit the Wonderland Camp web site or call (573) 392-1000.
Shady Oaks Camp provides outdoor fun and recreation for children and adults with cerebral palsy and similar disabilities. The camp is located in Homer Glen, Illinois, (35 miles southwest of downtown Chicago) and was built specifically around the special needs of these campers. Programs at the camp include planned recreation, games, arts and crafts, and swimming. All are tailored to the capabilities and limitations of each individual camper. There are also field trips to places in or near Chicago, like the Brookfield and Lincoln Park Zoos, major league baseball games, museums and theaters. For more information call 708-301-0816 or visit the Shady Oaks Camp web site.
Special Days Camp is open to any child who currently has cancer or leukemia, or has had it in the past. Special Days Camp gives these youngsters a chance to experience the fun of traditional summer camp with the medical care and treatment they require from oncology physicians and nurses. The camp is located in Jackson, Michigan. For more information about their winter and summer camp, visit the Special Days Camp web site.
Camp Hickory Hill serves children and teens age 8 to 17 who have insulin-dependent diabetes. The camp educates these children to manage and control their own diabetes. Fun activities include archery, arts and crafts, astronomy, boating, campfires and overnight camp outs, exploring a cave, fishing, hiking and nature study, zip line, mudpit competition, ping pong, rappelling, riflery, skits, stories, songs, sports and more. The camp is located in Columbia, Missouri. For more information, visit Camp Hickory Hill's web page or call (573) 445-9146.
Parenting classes give parents the confidence they need to competently raise children.
There are several parenting classes options for you.
Child-Parent Psychotherapy (CPP) promotes and strengthens a close, safe and nurturing relationship between a parent and their child, age 5 or under.
Find a CPP Provider
Circle of Security™ is an 8-week parenting program designed to help you learn how to respond to your child’s needs in a way that enhances your connection with him, which often leads to changes in the child’s behavior
Learn more about Circle of Security™
Guardian/Conservator Training Classes provides information for those serving as a guardian or conservator. Participants must register.
Register for a Guardian/Conservator Training Classes
Co-Parenting for Successful Kids is a class that helps parents understand the impact of divorce on their children and provide concrete steps parents can take to help their children succeed through the process.
Learn more about Co-Parenting for Successful Kids class