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Strategies to make it through the Holidays

HOLIDAY ISSUE HEADLINES

Places to gain support from other caregivers:

  1. The Caregiver Support Group held at Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital. Two hours of education and discussion for caregivers of all ages caring for persons over 60.
  2. Sign on to the Eldercare Discussion area. It is your method of posting questions for other caregivers and gaining support any time of day.

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Short Cuts to Lower Holiday Stress During:

If you wish to include all the old traditions, decide how you can make them easier.

Simplify food items:
Start holiday breads from frozen dough
Pies and cookies can be baked and frozen
Some salad recipes require freezing
Purchase favorite food items partially or fully prepared
Do what you can ahead of time like cards, shopping, and wrapping gifts.

Include as many people as possible in the preparations.
Decorating
Food preparation - potluck - or have others bring specific items
Cleaning - other family members clean for you while you prepare the food
Baking - give someone the ingredients to bake for you
Shopping - for primary caregivers it helps to give their list to someone to take
along when they are shopping
Transporting a loved one to the store for shopping (If you have been responsible for taking your older loved one to the store each year.)
Wrapping gifts
Wrapping for mailing and running to the post office
Take each little task one at a time, as a joy in itself, rather than dreading the holiday planning as a whole.

Make a pledge not to be drawn into any squabbles with family members.

Get plenty of rest and spend time doing things that you enjoy. This may be simply stopping by a special place on the way home for a few moments.

It is a "choice" to think positive. Don't let others rain on your parade.

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Out-of-town family members

Out-of-town family members who are visiting may perceive the caregiving situation much differently than local caregivers who have daily or weekly contact with an older person. Some suggestions may be made with good intentions but may seem critical. They might be dealing with guilt over not being closer, or stress in seeing dramatic changes since the last visit. Find ways they can help. Some tasks can be managed miles away such as finances. A large envelope can be provided for the older person to fill with bills and insurance explanations. Having the older person visit out-of-town relatives for a weekend, or if possible a week, can be helpful to everyone involved. Above all share your conviction and assure out-of-town family members you are doing your best.

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Visits to out-of-town older relatives

Visits to out-of-town older relatives, you see only periodically, may raise some questions. If you see changes that concern you, find out how the older person perceives their health and abilities. They may think admitting any vulnerability would threaten their ability to stay in their own home so may be hesitant to talk about challenges. Planning ahead, or sharing options before the need arises, could eliminate the fear of a crisis. Mention your knowledge of finding available services, WHEN they are ready for them. To access out-of-state services call the number below. Our directory of Area Agencies on Aging across the nation in many cases will have a toll-free number.

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A quick assessment

A quick assessment to determine the safety of your older loved one in their own home. Ask yourself these simple "What If" questions:
  • Do I perceive my loved one as being able to perform all activities of daily living such as eating, dressing, cleaning, keeping medications straight, etc?
  • Do I believe they are SAFE in their own home? Even though their lifestyle may not be mine, are they SAFE?
  • What if their health would be threatened? Who would I call? Who could they call?
  • What if the current living arrangements are no longer suitable, what would
    their wishes be? Would they prefer care in their own home, do they perceive family as caring for them, or would they rather not have family caring for them? It is much easier to have these discussions before the need arises, than during a crisis.
  • Do they understand the concept of assisted living? How do they feel about nursing homes? Have they considered specific locations?
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A list of gift ideas for older persons.

  • A Locket: Your senior can always have a treasured photo close to her heart in a pin or necklace.
  • A Journal: Buying your special loved ones a hardback or paper back journal will encourage them to chronicle history and memories from their lives. The whole family will thank you!
  • Family photos: Mount them in an album, or create a collage for their wall. Write your special recollections of the events beside each one.
  • Binoculars: Bird and squirrel watching are always popular pastimes for seniors.
  • Bird feeders, bird seed, and bird houses.
  • Prepaid Telephone Calling Card.
  • Personalized Imprinted Stationery and Stamped Envelopes.
  • Greeting Cards and Stamps.
  • Annual Subscription for a Large Print Reader's Digest.
  • Daily inspirational books.
  • Classic Movie Video's.
  • Gift Certificates: Any gift certificate is sure to please. Be creative. You can purchase certificates for medications, toiletries, crafts, the grocery store, transportation, a trip to the beauty shop, a massage therapist, a cleaning person, or meals-on-wheels for an affordable amount of time.
  • An Independence Day Certificate. A morning, afternoon or day of cleaning assistance.
  • Energy Gift Certificate from the energy company (gas, electricity).
  • Flannel or Jersey Bed Sheets.
  • Large Print Wall Calendar.
  • Walker-Totes. A bag that hangs from the front of a walker attached with Velcro to hold essentials. Available through many drug stores and home health supply stores.
  • Magnifying Strip or Glass. Office supply stores, or Services for the Visually Impaired
  • Love Notes: Give each family member at least five small pieces of paper. Have them write why the older person is special to them and place them all in a decorative container. A nice goal is 365, one for each day of the year.
  • Audio tapes of big band sounds and other favorite music or family member audio messages.
  • Video tapes of treasured family pictures, voices, events.
  • Tickets to a movie or stage performance, and dinner with a family member.
  • Computer-less Internet Appliances such as a Web TV to keep in touch by E-mail and instant chat, or a webcam to chat with live pictures of one another.
  • For frail elderly, clothing with Velcro® closers or zippers, sneakers, sweats, sweaters, slacks with elastic waist.
  • Memory aids - wipe off message boards with pen, bulletin board, calendar, large clock, scrapbook or album of life memories and achievements
  • For the memory impaired books with large pictures, few words, poetry, or story books
  • Soft pillows
  • Fresh fruit
  • Soft lighting - dimmer switch, night lights
  • Adaptive equipment for the home - hand-held shower, tub rails, locks/door alarm, child-proof doorknobs
  • Scents - hand lotion, linen spray, soap, shower gel, bubble bath
  • Grooming items
  • Gift certificates - manicure, pedicure, dentist, beauty shop
  • Games - jigsaw puzzles (large piece for some), word or number games, games with Bible themes
  • Hugs, Hugs, Hugs


A list of gift ideas for Caregivers.

  • Hugs, Hugs, Hugs
  • Time! Anything to give the caregiver time
  • Shopping spree
  • Ticket to a show (respite care offered)
  • Gift certificates - spa, restaurant, clothing store, movie theater
  • Walk in the park or recreational activity
  • Selection of cards and stamped envelopes
  • Fish bowl full of "favor coupons" to draw from (wash car, vacuum, grocery shopping, laundry)
  • Relaxation tapes, quiet music
  • Ready-made meals (frozen casserole or hot dish)
  • Offer to drive to appointments

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If you have other ideas, please let me know. Your ideas will help another caregiver.

Donna Washburn
ElderCare Specialist
dwashburn@ci.lincoln.ne.us
(402) 441-7070 or 1-800-247-0938

Posted July 18th, 2007

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