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"I'm doing just fine, thank you!"
Chronological age is not a good indicator of how much help a person needs. A 95-year-old may be totally self-sufficient while a 63-year-old, due to disease and/or disability, may need a lot of assistance. A better indicator is a person's physical and emotional level of functioning. At times it is very obvious what help a person needs. Other times, it is not so apparent. If the house is not clean, a homemaker may be needed to help with general household tasks, such as vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom or washing the dishes. If the older person is not getting proper nutrition because they cannot prepare meals, someone may need to prepare meals to help provide good nutrition. But when a person is homebound, lonely, and needs companionship, the need may not be recognized by the caregiver.
Listening to Your Loved One - How Does the Person Feel?
Ask the older person how they feel. Listening to what your loved one tells you they need is very important. They may not know the solution, but they can often identify the problem.
If you are aware of a problem, but the older person seems resistant to change, try asking yourself this question: "Does the house, which is dirty, really affect mom's/dad's safety, or does it just make me feel uncomfortable?" If the answer is that it makes you feel uncomfortable, you may have to release this feeling in order to maintain an objective assessment of the situation.
Is the Issue a Problem?
Sometimes the older person does not view the issue as a problem and is therefore unwilling to accept help. The older person may also be denying the problem so they don't have to confront the serious, long-term affects of their physical and/or mental decline.
A Caring Professional Can Help
When it is difficult to get a handle on what is needed, bringing in an objective and caring professional can be helpful. The professional can objectively look at the information gathered and make suggestions about available services and how to access them. In addition, he/she can provide support to the suggestions already made by family members.
Focusing on the Most Important Needs - Accepting a Service on a Trial Basis
Once their needs have been identified, focus on the one or two most important. Trying to make too many changes may be overwhelming to the older person.
When you are dealing with someone who is resistant to accepting help, try getting them to accept a service on a trial basis. Ask the older person to agree to having a service for a two-month trial period. Then re-evaluate the person's situation at the end of that trial period. The older person may be more willing to try a service if they know they aren't committing to having the service forever.
Many older persons are uncomfortable with a stranger coming to their home to help with household chores. Offering emotional support by agreeing to be there the first time the worker comes may make an important difference. After getting past the initial discomfort, many older persons become comfortable with the service and can see the benefits of receiving a little help. Once the person becomes familiar with the service, they are less likely to cancel it.
Formal services can be tailored to fit the needs of the older person. The agency providing the service will estimate the number of hours needed to do the required task(s). If the older person needs help with meals, the plan could be to have someone prepare breakfast and supper and have Meals on Wheels delivered for the noon meal. The service plan can be adjusted to provide more or less assistance to your loved one.
Posted July 22nd, 2007
Listening to Your Loved One - How Does the Person Feel?
Ask the older person how they feel. Listening to what your loved one tells you they need is very important. They may not know the solution, but they can often identify the problem.
If you are aware of a problem, but the older person seems resistant to change, try asking yourself this question: "Does the house, which is dirty, really affect mom's/dad's safety, or does it just make me feel uncomfortable?" If the answer is that it makes you feel uncomfortable, you may have to release this feeling in order to maintain an objective assessment of the situation.
Is the Issue a Problem?
Sometimes the older person does not view the issue as a problem and is therefore unwilling to accept help. The older person may also be denying the problem so they don't have to confront the serious, long-term affects of their physical and/or mental decline.
A Caring Professional Can Help
When it is difficult to get a handle on what is needed, bringing in an objective and caring professional can be helpful. The professional can objectively look at the information gathered and make suggestions about available services and how to access them. In addition, he/she can provide support to the suggestions already made by family members.
Focusing on the Most Important Needs - Accepting a Service on a Trial Basis
Once their needs have been identified, focus on the one or two most important. Trying to make too many changes may be overwhelming to the older person.
When you are dealing with someone who is resistant to accepting help, try getting them to accept a service on a trial basis. Ask the older person to agree to having a service for a two-month trial period. Then re-evaluate the person's situation at the end of that trial period. The older person may be more willing to try a service if they know they aren't committing to having the service forever.
Many older persons are uncomfortable with a stranger coming to their home to help with household chores. Offering emotional support by agreeing to be there the first time the worker comes may make an important difference. After getting past the initial discomfort, many older persons become comfortable with the service and can see the benefits of receiving a little help. Once the person becomes familiar with the service, they are less likely to cancel it.
Formal services can be tailored to fit the needs of the older person. The agency providing the service will estimate the number of hours needed to do the required task(s). If the older person needs help with meals, the plan could be to have someone prepare breakfast and supper and have Meals on Wheels delivered for the noon meal. The service plan can be adjusted to provide more or less assistance to your loved one.
