Coping with Three Generations Under One Roof: Conflict or Cooperation?

1. Involve your spouse in the planning.
   
   
2. Respect your spouse's need for privacy and for time alone with you. Keep in touch with each other.
   
   
3. Discuss your expectations of spouse's involvement as caregiver. Problem solve together.
   
   
4. Make a space where your spouse can pursue independent interests with no distractions or interruptions.
   
   
5. Maintain records, receipts of special expenditures, discuss planned costs.
   
   
6. Maintain social contact and outside activities as a couple.
   
   
7. Be cheerful and keep interested in your spouse's activities.
   
   
8. Take a getaway break as often as possible.
   
   

Kids will be Kids...But...

1. Involve your children in the planning of any changes.
   
   
2. Establish a list of "courtesies" for them to observe; explain the reason.
   
   
3. Set an example. Loud music and other youthful pursuits should be moderate in deference to the comfort of others.
   
   
4. Encourage participation in family tasks where elderly are involved. Foster intergenerational sharing.
   
   
5. Allow for slip-ups: Discuss the special circumstances and limitations and remind children that you once lived in your parent's home.
   
   
6. Respect privacy.
   
   
7. Allow for "time out" to get away to be with/or entertain friends.
   
   

Cooperative Seniors

1. Respect the privacy of each family member. Don't interfere.
   
   
2. If possible, have your own telephone. If not, be considerate.
   
   
3. Don't criticize housekeeping, cooking, spouse, friends, children, clothes, television programs or church. Discuss problems calmly.
   
   
4. Be friendly to children. Take the first step to solve conflicts.
   
   
5. Offer to help with tasks you can handle, but don't force your will or your way of doing something.
   
   
6. Keep a sense of humor. Don't inflict guilt.
   
   
7. Help out with expenses. Pay as much of your way as you can.
   
   
8. Set goals for yourself. Associate with friends out side of the family.
   
   
9. Take a getaway break. Give others a chance for privacy.
   
   
10. Maintain your appearance and hygiene.