The Stress Diet

A lighthearted, fun look at the "perfect" diet to help
you cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Breakfast
1 half grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 ounce skim milk

Lunch
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of Oreos in the package
1 pint Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
1 large deluxe pizza
4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
3 Milky Way candy bars

Late Evening Snack
Entire frozen cheesecake (eaten from the freezer)

Rules for this Fun Diet

• If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the candy bar.
• When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
• Food used for medicinal purposes never count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
• Movie-related foods, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls, do not have additional calories, because they are part of the entire entertainment package and are not part of one's personal fuel.
• Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
• Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
• Foods that are the same color have the same number of calories. For example: spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.

NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

Compiled by the Lincoln/Greater Nebraska Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, 1999.