Stephen R. Covey, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, advises us, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Just gaining an understanding of brain injury is a huge task. Taking the time and effort to gain the understanding of the thoughts and feelings behind the behaviors of someone affected by brain injury is an even bigger task.
Brain injury or not, we are all quick to draw conclusions based on our first impressions. If we make a habit to pause for a moment, to distance ourselves from our own emotions and opinions, we are better able to consider the situation from the perspective of the other person. This prevents jumping to wrong conclusions, taking offense when none was intended or making a scene by over-reacting.
Because the survivor’s ability to accurately assess and logically reason can be impaired, misperceptions occur frequently. For the survivor, the pause is critically important to make sure that they are interpreting the situation correctly. Simply by asking someone, “Please define what you mean” or by stating, “I am not sure what you are saying” can be extremely helpful to clear up confusion and reduce the potential for misunderstandings.